This article presents a short guide on how men can have orgasms without ejaculating. This is not an in-depth explanation but more of a quick guide and checklist on how to start.

For more information on the technique for men of how to have an orgasm without ejaculating, you can check out these books by Mantak Chia:

• • The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know
  • Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

How to Have an Orgasm Without Ejaculating

Step 1: Take Control Over Your PC Muscle

PC Muscle Control

This is not a detailed anatomical explanation, but only gives you the information that you need to start out. For more information, you can read an anatomy book.

Somewhere in your lower hip is a muscle called the pubococcygeus muscle. I will be referring to this muscle as the PC muscle.

You can locate it by pressing between your balls and your anus and try to flex the muscle groups there. It is the one muscle that is hard and slightly bulging outwards.

This muscle is able to hold back the ejaculation and makes sure that no ejaculate is going to shoot out when you orgasm.

The technique on how to have an orgasm without ejaculating is not as simple as just flexing the PC muscle but flexing this muscle is a very essential part and you will struggle to have any success without training this muscle.

Training the PC Muscle

In order to learn how to have an orgasm without ejaculating, you have to make this muscle your best friend. And the best way to train this muscle is to flex and hold it.

It takes some practice to flex and use this muscle, but it is the same muscle that you’re using when you stop peeing midway. It is also the same muscle that you use when you already have an erection and you’re trying to make your hard penis bounce upwards.

There is a famous set of exercises called Kegel exercises. These are also used to train this muscle.

Some even advocate using weights to train this muscle but I have not experimented with that and likely never will.

Some people say that, when you go peeing, you can just start and stop peeing 50 times to train your PC muscle. Personally, I don’t do this but it is still a valid technique for you to try.

My favorite way to train this muscle is simply to flex it all the time. I flex the PC muscle when I lie bad. I flex it when I’m working. I’m flexing it when I’m walking around outside and I’m flexing it when I go running or exercise. I really make the PC muscle my best friend. It’s the first thing I say hello to in the morning and the last thing I say goodnight to when I go to sleep.

I don’t flex the PC muscle in short intervals but I just flex and hold it for as long as I can.

This muscle is not like a bicep that you can train and it will just keep growing. It is a very moody and sensitive muscle. If your tummy feels heavy, your PC muscle might become very soft and weak. The same is true when you’re tired and exhausted. You can always do pushups with predictable results but your PC muscle might refuse at times if you are not paying attention to it.

This is why my favorite way of training the PC muscle is to just hold it all the time and try to always have it in the back of my mind.

Another benefit of doing that is that you’re always in a bit of a meditative and grounded state. You just become more focused on whatever you do. When you walk around while flexing your PC muscle, you’re more grounded. When you work while flexing your PC muscle, you’re more focused.

Flexing the PC muscle doesn’t take much effort because it is a pretty small muscle.

Just try to maximize flexing and holding your PC muscle for as much and long as possible throughout the day, every day.

Step 2: Identify the Difference Between Orgasm and Ejaculation

Orgasm vs Ejaculation: What Goes Around, Cums Around

For men, there’s a difference between an orgasm and an ejaculation. They are often used synonymously, but they are not the same. The ejaculation refers to sperm being shot out of your penis. The orgasm describes the feeling around your penis (that very good sensation) that you’re getting as you are reaching your climax. It is usually the reason you want to masturbate or have sex in the first place. It is the payoff.

Interestingly, the word ‘cum’ usually refers to both the orgasm and the ejaculation at the same time. This tells you a lot about how far our society has removed itself from this essential technique that every man should know about.

The best way to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation is to masturbate and always stop right before the orgasm. We all know the point of no return when it is too late so you stop right before that. Really investigate this. The orgasm is entirely different from the ejaculation.

In the beginning, you can ejaculate. But as you ejaculate, observe the difference. You usually enter the orgasm first and are in zero gravity among clouds of pleasure but the ejaculation is not there yet. It usually is quite delayed. Try to experiment.

Observe the ejaculation. Try to delay it more. Try to flex your PC muscle. Try to use your mind and imagination to move the energy back.

This phase is all about experimentation. Have fun with it. Just observe.

Doing it Right

The technique itself is very simple but the details can make it complicated.

You simply masturbate until you reach the orgasm. You completely relax your entire body, PC muscle and other muscles as you enter the orgasm. You spend a few moments within the orgasm but you stop masturbating or stimulating your penis in any way. Then you mentally redirect the energy from your penis back into your hip and flex the PC muscle. The idea is to have the pleasure you feel in the penis moved behind the PC muscle so that the PC muscle acts as a barrier.

You keep holding the PC muscle and allow the energy to move backward up your spine into your brain so that it is not stuck in your hip with nowhere to go. You let it sit in your brain for a bit and then move it down your front side into your navel.

If you do the technique correctly, the energy will often shoot up your spine into your brain by itself. You will be surprised by how your spine suddenly erects and you raise your arms instinctively while moving your head.

Step 3: Focus on Energy Over Pleasure

A very important part of this tantric technique is to merge pleasure with meditation. If you are simply masturbating and then hope that it’s going to work at the last minute, then you’re probably going to fail. Getting to the orgasm should not only be about pleasure but already be a journey of preparation.

Your goal is to redirect the energy that would usually shoot out of your penis in the form of ejaculation and to circle it backward into your lower hip, into your back and up your spine. You then move it into your brain and gradually down the front of your body into your navel.

The physiological reason as to why this works, I cannot explain. All I can explain is the sensation and the energetic feeling.

The tantric technique of how to have an orgasm without ejaculating for men unlocks a new type of energy. The reason I’m describing it that way is because when you normally ejaculate, you do not feel that energy even though it must be there as well. It is almost like your ejaculate contains sperm and also a nice gift of energy that you are unable to feel because you just shoot it out. But maybe it has a purpose when shot inside a woman’s body. Who knows why nature designed it that way.

By doing the Tantric technique, you are able to split the sperm from the energy. You safely keep the sperm in your testicles while you can extract the energy and move it backward up your spine into your brain. That is the essence of what you’re doing in the technique.

What exactly is that energy? I don’t know if it is something physical or just some nerve sensations. All I know is that it is there and that it is real. It is not created by the technique. It is just revealed by it.

As you are getting to the orgasm, you are consistently flexing and relaxing the PC muscle. You are focusing on redirecting energy from your penis back down into your pelvis and to your back, up the spine into your brain. You’re constantly focusing on this energy pathway that is moving backward up your spine.

It should feel like you’re sucking the energy out of your penis, back into your pelvis and up your spine into your brain. But this is only preparation for the orgasm. If you focus on energy too much and suck all of the energy out of your penis then you will lose the erection. Balance energy and pleasure but favor energy more since you will need it during the orgasm.

Pleasure will get you to the orgasm, but you will need to understand this energy pathway deeply in order to move away from the pleasure at the end of the technique. You have to focus on the energy more than on the pleasure.

Step 4: Body Posture and Setting Yourself Up For Success

You can do this technique in any position but I recommend choosing a position that you’re familiar with and where you can flex your PC muscle freely while also having an erect spine.

My favorite position is the half-lotus and I usually sit on a yoga block or meditation cushion. This is my standard meditation position as well and I think that it is ideal for flexing the PC muscle. It is also easy to masturbate in that position.

But you can also lie on your back on a bed depending on your preference.

If you’re having sex, you can be on top and hold yourself in a half-pushup position while resting on your knees.

It doesn’t really matter. My recommendation is simply to make sure that your spine is erect and that you can flex your PC muscle freely.

You should also make sure that you can stop the stimulation of the penis at any time. If you are alone, you can just stop masturbating. If you’re having sex, then you have to make sure that you’re in a position where you can disengage the other person, either by pulling out, pushing her off or by quickly guiding her hand or mouth away from you.

Step 5: Circulation and Meditation

Treat the tantra technique of how to have an orgasm without ejaculation like a meditation. You will have to navigate energy a lot and you will need a clear mind. You must also become intuitive when it comes to circulating your energy up your spine and down into your navel.

If you feel like you are unable to work with this energy, take up mindfulness meditation or a similar practice.

Meditation will also help you to let go of any distractions when starting the technique. It will likewise help you to let go of pleasure and avoid ejaculation after you have entered the orgasm.

Failure of the technique leading to an accidental ejaculation is often rather caused by a weak mindset than physical incompetence so your mind is your most useful asset next to the PC muscle.

Step 6: How to Know if it Worked

The simple way to know that it worked is if you have entered the point of no return during the orgasm (i.e. oh no, I will definitely ejaculate) and did the technique just to realize that nothing came out but you noticed a strong energy sensation moving into your brain.

How you know it worked

• • No sperm came out.
  • Your penis remains hard after the technique.
  • The penis tip softens a slight bit.
  • If you keep masturbating, your penis will show the typical ejaculation twitches that normally pump the sperm out but nothing comes out. These twitches are delayed significantly since the orgasm is long gone at this point and you just flexed the PC muscle.
  • You can orgasm again quickly without needing to recuperate.
  • You are still horny or even more horny than before.
  • After the orgasm and upon redirection of the energy into the pelvis and up the spine, you feel a surge of energy. It will rush up into your brain and you will naturally erect your spine and lift your arms. Intensity can vary. You might be spaced out for a moment.

When it didn’t work

• • Sperm came out.
  • Nothing came out after the orgasm but 2 min later, after squeezing your penis a bit, two or three drops came out. This means that it partially failed but this can often happen. A partial win is still a win depending on the other signs (i.e. energy, erection, horniness).
  • You pressed your fingers in the area of your PC muscle and manually redirected the sperm into your bladder. You still ejaculated but nothing came out of your penis. But this does not mean that the technique worked since you will pee it out next time you take a piss.
  • Your penis becomes sensitive and your erection disappears. Very likely, sperm came out or it went into your bladder in some way. Check your urine after you pee and see how cloudy and foamy it is.

 

You must also consider that even long before the orgasm, there will be pre-cum coming out of your penis. This is normal and usually just amounts to very small drops. You will be able to tell the difference between pre-cum and sperm very quickly since precum is tiny and colorless while the full ejaculation is often white and more voluminous.

When and How to Practise

PC muscle: I recommend trying to flex it every day as much as you can. Make it a habit.

Orgasm without ejaculating, aka masturbation: You can do it once in the morning and once in the evening. Doing it once per day is fine, too. Doing it less often is fine as well but your progress will likely be very slow.

Why to Have an Orgasm Without Ejaculating

There are many reasons why men should learn this technique, but here is a short summary:

• • Energy: After ejaculating, you will be more sleepy and less motivated. Having an orgasm without ejaculating is like having your cake and eating it too. You will have an orgasm and then have more energy than before. That’s a game changer for productivity.
  • Multiple Orgasms: If you do not ejaculate, your penis won’t get soft and sensitive so you can go again. Having multiple orgasms is pretty great.
  • Health: Ejaculation takes a toll on your body. It is healthy to ejaculate every once in a while but most people ejaculate too much. I am not an expert on this but your sperm production diverts resources away from other body functions such as the immune system. Ejaculation is very expensive for your body so use it more wisely. If you have an autoimmune condition or chronic fatigue, it might be even more important to cultivate this technique.
  • Control: Many women love being on birth control pills for a simple reason: Controlling their menstrual cycles. Rather than being surprised once a month, they prefer knowing when and how long they will have their period. This control is an underappreciated factor. Men can gain the same level of control through Tantra since you will not go through cycles of being super horny or not horny at all, periodically. Instead, you will always be energetic and ready for sex but will never be too tired or too horny to think. Tantra can be viewed as controlling your sexual urges and channeling them. You can choose to have more sex or less sex through it, it is that versatile.
  • State: Just like the ketogenic diet or hyperventilation techniques put you into a different state of being that has a different quality to it, doing the Tantra technique also puts you into a different state all day. It is a different state of being and carrying yourself. Find out if you like it.

Nuances of the Technique

If you start out using this technique to have an orgasm without ejaculating, then there’s going to be a lot of things to pay attention to. The problem is that this technique is intense and the more you have to keep in mind, the less successful you’re going to be. This technique needs to be done in an intuitive way. If you jump out of an airplane with a parachute on then you should only have a very simple checklist in your brain and not 100 different things to think about.

Even though this article contains a lot of different instructions, whenever I do the technique, I actually tell myself to be intuitive and to just wing it. The reason for that is simple: I understand all of the nuances theoretically. I understand what I should do but I will have to discover what exactly I need to adjust today.

You might think about a list of 50 different things but in reality, there’s only one thing that you’re currently lacking and should focus on. But to know what that one thing is means that you have to let go of the list and observe what is.

Internalize the list, but then let it go and be intuitive.

Just wing it.

Troubleshooting

These troubleshooting notes are designed to help those who struggle with the technique. Do not aim to follow all of the suggestions since some can be contradictory. There are many different ways to execute the technique so find what works best for you.

• • If you are unsure of the strength of your PC muscle then play it safe. After the point of no return, do not go too deep into the orgasm since you might lose yourself and ejaculate before you know it.
  • If your PC muscle feels weak or your erection is not very strong, prepare carefully. Always flex your PC muscle even before the orgasm to assess your position and its strength. Do a dry run before the show. If you are not confident that you can do the technique then decide not to orgasm today.
  • Sometimes an orgasm can be overwhelming. It’s ok to breathe loudly and use full mind-over-body control to hold the ejaculation back. It’s not elegant but sometimes it is necessary.
  • The orgasm is located in your penis, initially. If you leave it there, it has nothing else to do but to shoot out in the form of an ejaculation. It is very important to first move the energy from the penis into your pelvis with your mind so that it is located behind your PC muscle. This is something you have to practice since it is more of a mind technique than a physical muscle exercise.
  • Sometimes it can be useful to move your hip backwards in a swift motion to suck the pleasure out of your penis and back into your pelvis. Like a whip, you can briefly flex your PC muscle and gently kick the orgasm back into the pelvis before the energy moves upwards into your brain.
  • The greatest danger with the technique is to keep all the pleasure in the penis which makes it very hard to move the energy backwards. When you do it correctly, your penis will lose all the pleasure but keep the hardness since the pleasure is converted into energy and will move up your spine into your brain. You have to experiment with mentally leading the energy back from the tip of your penis into your pelvis.
  • You can hold back the ejaculation with very little PC flexing by basically only using your mind. Once you have entered the orgasm and you are about to flex your PC muscle, first relax and mentally remove all the pleasure from your penis so that it feels neutral. This should only take a second. Then you mentally lead the energy into your pelvis. Now you flex the PC muscle. One problem you might encounter is that flexing the PC muscle feels pleasurable and makes you ejaculate even more. Removing the pleasure from the penis and moving it down will prevent that from happening.
  • If you do Tantra in the morning then do not push yourself too much in the evening. In the evening, you will always be more exhausted and can be too tired to focus. If you do the technique after all, simply start in bed while lying down. Have some careful almost-orgasms to test your PC muscle and see how the redirection up the spine and into your brain feels. If you want to orgasm, sit into your normal position and do it there.
  • If you masturbate sitting down on a yoga block then you can lean forward and press your PC muscle against the hard block while flexing it. This increases pleasure and likewise allows you to really feel the muscle and assess its strength before you do the technique.
  • Like a conveyor belt that is always moving backward, try to make it a habit to redirect the energy. it is not enough to simply orgasm and to not ejaculate since there is a lot of energy that will be released and it needs to go somewhere. It will either turn into pleasure and try to ejaculate or it will convert into energy and move up your spine. It is best to move it up your spine and not have it stuck in your lower body with nowhere to go. Even while you masturbate, try to already redirect energy and see if you can create a flow that will later be used for the energy. Chances are, you can already feel the energy moving before you orgasm.
  • Do not immediately after the orgasm try to check if something came out. Sit and flex the PC muscle for longer afterward to be safe. Even if you already had a surge of energy shoot up your spine, there might be a second round right behind it. Some energy surges will be so intense that your brain feels confused for a minute and you see stars. Some will be mild and you are simply enjoying a light buzz. Do not forget to redirect the energy out of your brain into your navel afterward.
  • The PC muscle can be inconsistent. If you have intestinal inflammation, an immune condition, allergies or other physical problems then it can be a challenge to be consistent. But the more you practice, the more you will realize that this technique is greatly influenced by your mind over body control. You will sometimes think that it didn’t work because you did not flex the PC muscle correctly just to realize that no sperm came out and you are still hard. Just your mind is powerful enough to do the trick. The PC muscle is just a helpful guide for beginners.
  • The technique can be done quickly or slowly. A typical orgasm without ejaculation can take 10-40 minutes if you are just practicing. It is still best to prepare along the way. You can meditate while flexing your PC muscle and sitting still first. Then you start masturbating and pause right before the orgasm multiple times to practice the techniques. Preparation is a helpful habit.
  • The best way to fail the exercise and ejaculate is if your penis is not fully hard. If you are only 80% hard then flexing the PC muscle might become more challenging. That is why it is best to not rush, take your time and focus on pleasure first. Be hard and enjoy the process. Do not enter the orgasm with anything but a 100% hard penis. If you flex the OPC muscle while practicing the redirection of energy backward, your tip will generally soften a bit. That is because the energy redirection sucks the pleasure out of your penis. That is also the reason why you must relax into the orgasm and not go in fully flexing your PC muscle.
  • Masturbating for a long time can be exhausting. Your arm will get tired. YOur mind will get tired. if you do this technique twice a day, you must be efficient. It is good to only focus on pleasure in the beginning and get aroused and close to the orgasm quickly. Then you practise. Then you do the technique. If exhaustion is a problem for you, do it this way.
  • The good old ball-pulling trick. Sometimes flexing the PC muscle makes you ejaculate faster. Flexing this muscle group that is close to your prostate can make the pleasure go out of control and make you ejaculate. To avoid that, you simply pull on your balls, ever so gently, to remove this pleasure trigger. Often, it is necessary to relax your entire body as you enter the orgasm and to pull your balls at the same time. Flexing the PC muscle should not increase the pleasure but be a tool to convert pleasure into energy before redirecting it.
  • This goes back to mind control. An interesting aspect of ejaculation is that you can feel the ejaculation at the tip of your penis while the sperm still relaxes in your testicles. It feels like a physical component but it is just a sensation and manifestation of pleasure. If you feel this point at the tip of your penis, try to mentally move it into your pelvis as you orgasm. This is similar to the redirection of pleasure into your pelvis in the form of energy but is more a point than a fully pleasure-loaded penis. If you feel a point, try to redirect it.
  • Never rush this technique. Being efficient with your time does not mean you should ever hurry. It will take as much time as it takes. Always.
  • The hotness of the penis is the last stage before the ejaculation and it is what I have referred to as pleasure above. If your penis is loaded with pleasure, you will ejaculate. This is why it is best to mentally remove the pleasure first before you start flexing your PC muscle. You can also observe the pleasure level before the orgasm by assessing how hot your penis seems. it should be very hard but be careful of its hotness.
  • This is a reminder that these instructions are just opinions and suggestions. Once you start, be fully present in the moment and follow your intuition. There are many different types of orgasms and things to explore inside your body. When in doubt, just wing it. You will learn no matter what.

Difficulties

Do not worry if it didn’t work. If you do the technique frequently and you push the envelope by going deep then you will fail every once in a while. It can even be quite frequent. Playing it safe will not get you anywhere so be bold.

You can do the technique once a week and tell everyone how insane your sensations are but, if you never go deep into an orgasm, then you do not really grow. You’re fooling no one but yourself.

Be an explorer and go deep. Be happy to fail sometimes. With every failure you’re going to learn new things. It can be about the technique or it can be about yourself and your own motivations.

Getting Hard

Getting hard on command is not that easy for many men. There can be mental barriers if you’re preoccupied with work or any other topics. But there are also physical barriers if you’re just not eating right, not sleeping right or not doing any exercise.

All your body needs to do is to readily pump a lot of blood into your penis. If your body is struggling for whatever reason, it’s not going to be able to do that. Think about the following:

• • Diet: It doesn’t matter if you have an empty or full stomach. What matters more is what you eat in general. Use this technique as a way of assessing what is good for your body and what is not. After eating a huge chunk of butter, maybe your dick won’t get hard. But eating a zero-fat diet might be even worse. Try to eat whole foods and avoid the processed stuff. Make sure that (almost) nothing you eat has an ingredient list. Make foods yourself based on fresh ingredients. Identify if you need supplements as well. Experiment.
  • Mind: This is a good opportunity to take up a practice like mindfulness meditation. Be in your body. Have a clear mind and only focus on the present moment. Don’t think about work or problems. Let go of everything before you start doing the technique.
  • Exercise: Have a healthy body, which includes exercise. Build a daily exercise habit if you don’t have one already. Do some type of cardio and some type of resistance training every day. It doesn’t have to be much. It just has to be there.
  • Pleasure: Pleasure should be part of this exercise. It is very easy to view it as a technique, just like doing push-ups. But you shouldn’t compartmentalize it in that way. An orgasm is always associated with pleasure. Keep it that way. Enjoy touching yourself and think about things that arouse you which can be fantasies. I don’t watch porn but I expect that even watching porn to get to the orgasm shouldn’t be a problem. What is important is that you prepare and follow the guide.
  • Environment: Be in an undistracted environment. Don’t lock yourself in the bathroom when kids are screaming outside and knock on the door every 5 minutes. Be undisturbed. You can do the technique alone or with someone else or even with multiple people. But you need to have peace of mind.